Shelbey's letter
by dudeitzemm
Summary: Basically getting into Shelbey's character through her letter to Daisy. may do the other letters to idk yet.


A/N- I own absolutely nothing, sadly. This is basically just my attempt to get inside Shelby's head through the first letter she wrote to Daisy when she got sent back home. What's bold is the actual letter.

**Dear Daisy,**

**Well the cards were right, a big change is coming my way, but I can't see how this is gonna be good for me.**

Truth? Change never really has been. I mean, Dad leaves just before I become a teenager, the hardest times of my life, and he's replaced by this monster. This human form of evil and sickness that was the cause of so much of my pain. Running away wasn't a good change. It only led to drugs and prostitution, making my already not-so-clean slate that much dirtier. Sometimes I even think that coming to Horizon might have been bad somehow because facing all the other changes, all of my sinister little demons has just seemed like too much that I just wasn't quite ready for. They'll never let me forget.

**Doing Romeo and Juliet, excuse me, Bobby Jo and Jillian, the last scene's appropriate. Two lovers who die because of other peoples' problems.**

Shakespeare seemed to have really known about love and the way it always seems to turn out in the real world, Somebody, if not everybody, always has to die in the end. That is, if love even really exists at all.

**My opinion is that from the day you're born, people start taking pieces of you and you're lucky just to survive. And people have taken a lot of pieces away from me.**

Life always tears you apart ever so slowly, so by the time you recognize what's happening it's already too late, or because it just wants to prolong the suffering.. It breaks you up into tiny fragments of what you still have to assume is yourself. 

Maybe people take pieces away from you to fill the gaping holes inside themselves. The problem is, they never give the pieces back to you so you can at least try to stitch them back together, they're too scattered. So you look for anything to fill the empty spaces. Of course, you never really can because there will always be a bit more emptiness than there is substance and people will always be able to see right through those spaces inside of you. Because they know, because they have the same voids. And they'll always be taking pieces from you to fill them with.

**Well, maybe that's not all true. There was Peter and Sophie. They tried to put me back together, suppose I do owe them for trying.**

In fact they were the first, and close to only, people to ever really try. It felt so strange at first because I really wasn't sure what to make of it, but it was nice, you know, while it lasted.

I told Scott once that needing always sort of required someone to care and that that hadn't been too big in my world. But he was right… it is now. Or at least it was then. I guess it's true that all good things must come to an end.

**I still feel rotten about the way we treated Sophie.**

But then, that's always been my life; anger and sarcasm to put up a front so that I don't have to deal with anything. Of course, even I have to admit that we were pretty harsh.

**And Scott, he just doesn't get it. No crime, except that I loved him and it hurt way too much.**

It figures that the moment I find someone really great to hold on to, I get pulled away. Even while being sick, 500 miles away, my step father still seems to run my life. I suppose it just reinforces the saying that there is no such thing as true love, not for me, at least. I'm too damaged and used by the wrong kind of "love" for any other guy to seriously want me. But do I really have to go back to my step father? 

**He'll understand one day, I just wish he'd known then.**

I guess it was my own fault for being to discrete, but I'm just not used to really falling head over heels in love with someone and actually expressing it. The action alone terrifies me.

**As for the other dolts at Horizon, they're a bunch of pains and I'm glad to be rid of them.**

I mean, come on. The homeboy that could never do anything without getting into a fight with somebody? The mother-hen annoyance that may still actually believe that people can do anything? The princess who had it all, but still tried to play herself off like she was just as damaged as the rest of us? Maybe she was, who knows? And that dork, Freakin? I'm more than ready to get him out of my hair.

**And you were the biggest pain of them all, Daisy. Thanks for that.**

Let's see… you called me out about wearing an "invisible mask", somehow made me want to talk about Scott and my past, understood what I was talking about, and would never take any of my crap like "Queenie" did. You always forced me to face my reality and did it with sarcasm and an evil smirk. 

**It's weird though, because I wish I was taking everyone with me and I feel like I'm leaving my family behind.**

As annoying as everybody is, I really do consider them family. Horizon has been my only true family, the first one that I haven't wanted to run away from It figures, though, that I'd lose this place too. I'm always losing. But maybe it wasn't such a bad change to come here after all.

**And I'm scared.**

I'm always scared.


End file.
